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Need To Vent: The Court of Public Opinion

So there's the whole co-creator of Cards Against Humanity might have raped someone back in college drama going on in the game world right now.  And the noise from the court of public opinion is loud...

I HATE the court of public opinion.

When I was in high school, fall of my senior year, I got in a bad car accident.  I was the driver.  Because of that car accident, I was put on trial in the court of public opinions.  I was judged to be faking the whiplash and back sprain I got in it.    I was judged to have been so jealous of the girl in the passenger's seat I crashed that car on purpose to try and kill her.

You know, that last accusation... They never took into account there were 4 of us in that car that day.  The other 2 were always forgotten.  (Probably because they weren't in marching band where the rumors started...)

Also, these people never saw how after school ended, I went home, did homework, and then went to physical therapy.  These people didn't see how I got addicted to the powerful pain killers that knocked me out, and started forging notes so I could go home and be asleep instead of feeling the pain.  During the note forging time, I managed once to sleep for 18 hours.  That's when I realized I needed help.  That's when I got anti-depressants...

When that last bit happened, they said that it was more faking.

I wish I had been faking it.  My depression got worse with all the accusations and the cyber bullying (this was before there was even that term -  nothing like being stalked through AOL chat rooms being called a murderer).  I tried spending time with other/less close friends.  This didn't make things better.  Then I went to college and that didn't last even a semester because  I started making bad choices.

Things kept going down hill.  Less than 18 months after the car accident, I hit a rock bottom.  I tried to kill myself.

And that's why when a person starts going "Let's boycott this person!  Let's get them fired!  Let's let everyone know that they did this!  You must do this or you are a bad person like that bad person!" especially when it is still just an accusation... When there is no law involved...  I find it hard to stomach.

Look I'm not saying to not have an opinion/make a judgement call.  But do it like you do taking a crap... In private (and hopefully quietly).

A BFF Tradition brought back.

Before my BFF moved away years ago, before game night started, he came to my house.  We would sit down and watch something.  What did we watch?  Hana Kimi (J Drama), Robotech (Anime), Hana Yori Dango (J Drama), and so on.  Then he moved.  I don't know why I didn't think of it then... But that's skipping in the story.

So my BFF was gone for years.  I gave recommendations and when he came to visit one year we even watched Macross F: The False Diva (or Songstress depending on translation).  Not perfect, but it kept our interest alive.  Then, he decided to move back.  

#1 thing I was looking forward to was seeing him more often,  And compared to when he moved away I do see him more (once per year vs once per month).  Somewhere in my top five reasons I was glad he was back was hope that the tradition of watching stuff would be revived.  Due to various reasons, it wasn't.  

As I lamented this fact one day, I got the idea I should have had years ago.  The big idea?  Use a program (we're using G+ hangouts) to talk while we watch the show from the same source!  We can comment to each other and react (laugh, hoot, and such) together.  And this worked pretty good (except I had longer commercials so I ended up a bit behind but we worked through that and ironed it all out).  

That's right... Today we revived the tradition!  We had our first run and we love our pick so far.  What is it?  Coffee Prince (K Drama)  Might post about my first impression later in the week.

[J] Darker Than Black

I've been watching season 1 of DARKER THAN BLACK.  I like the show, but I don't love it (like I did GUN X SWORD, which I watched this summer).  I will not watch season 2. (Though I did accidentally watch like the first 1.5 episodes of it... kinda telling that I still don't care, right?)

I think one of the indications that my interest in it isn't strong enough is the fact I don't have a favorite character.  I mean, I like Yin and Mao, but I don't love either of them.  Now, I haven't had a character I loved in a long time (didn't happen in GUN X SWORD, either), but I'd at least have something the characters did that I loved (like Van's condiment habit).  Nothing Hei or any of them do is "lovable" to me.

In terms of world building and character growth/concept... All of that is tight.  If it sucked, I couldn't watch it.  The questions that are the mystery of what is going on/happened at Brazil are well done.  However, since I don't love the characters, I don't care about the answers.  Even when the bomb was dropped, regarding what they were trying to do.  "Oh, that sucks for them, I guess," was my reply.

Anyways, I have 4 episodes to go to finish season 1.  I'll likely finish it up by the end of the week.  Then, I'll likely play video games for a bit...

What will I watch next?  Well, I'll be watching a K-Drama with my BFF (somehow, I left COFFEE PRINCE unwatched this long).  I never finished watching IKEMEN DESU NE (J-Drama), so maybe that.  Or I might watch TO THE BEAUTIFUL YOU (K-drama).  Or, if I can find a short run anime (approx 13 episodes), I might go with that. I don't know.  And I don't know when I'll watch it (like I said, video game love coming next). 

[J] GANTZ Perfect Answer

Watched the second GANTZ movie.  It started off feeling completely new.  There were the 3 or 4 we knew from the end of the last movie (sorry so many people died and joined by the end it was a little hard to keep track).  They had everything down to a science.  Then little bits from movie one crept in.  In the end, beautiful tying of material.  The fight scenes were awesomer.  While you watched for the next alien in movie 1, in this one you watched for the next cool fight move.  

Typical Japanese ending..  Mother fuckers can't make a violent movie without someone ending in tears.  I'll admit there was more happiness than the typical-typical, but they couldn't have happy, happy joy, joy all around.  When i saw what happened I was jaw dropped and yelled "GODDAMMIT!" at the tv,  

It was good.  Not as awesome as the first one, though.  Now I need to post this and turn off my computer so I can change an outlet so I can put up my holiday tree.  PEACE!

[J] GANTZ

Watched a movie last night based on an ongoing manga that had a two season anime.  Gantz.  Basically, you start the movie following a character, Kei, which I wish we hadn't been following (because frankly I liked Kato better).  He sees an elementary school friend, Kato (they're college age & he is able to recognize him? Dude must not have changed, though other dude recognized him back so.... Seriously, peeps that doesn't happen).  Anyways they get hit by a train and that's where the fun begins.

What fun... I went in cold to the movie.  I didn't know what was going to happen (aside there were black suits involved, not suit suits, but like wet suits from the future or something?).

I had considered watching the anime before and I remember the trailer for this movie coming out.  I regret not jumping on all of it!  As i didn't know anything going in I was in constant suspense through the whole film.  I was like "What next?  NEXT!? OMG!!!"  And eventually  I wanted to throw Kei from a building... But that suit would have... Anyways... Despite 30 minutes of me hating the one character, it totally rocked my world,

Insaner part?  There's a second movie!!!  Like DeathNote had two live action movies, so did this.  I'm probably gonna watch that tonight.

[J vs K] Operation Proposal Daisakusen

This is one of the reasons I have this private blog... To talk about the shows I watched that I shouldn't have been able to watch.  Ready for some quick yammering?

Years ago I watched a show called Proposal Daisakusen.  It is a Japanese drama and it starred an actor I had watched in another show (Nobota wo Produce).  So I was primed to like it.  And I did.  

PLOT (according to me):
Guy is at his female friend's wedding.  Thing is he's been in love with his friend since high school.  So an angel at the church, sensing his regret, but seeing his inability to speak up, gives him a chance to go back in time via pictures presented at the reception dinner to stop the wedding from happening.  All the pictures are at a time he messed up having a relationship with her.


At first you're like, "There's a reason she is marrying the guy and those two never went out.  It probably just one sided love from him."  Then the show progresses and you realize he wasn't the only one not taking risks and hiding feelings.  In fact the groom, though a good guy, seems to be more of a comfort/#2 choice.  

Anyways, this show was one of those I watched when I started watching J shows.  It was one of the ones I didn't roll my eyes at and I eagerly went "NEXT EPISODE!"  But... This show isn't one of my addictions.  Hana Kimi and Hana Yori Dango... ADDICTED!  I'll try watching any and everything having to do with them.  

That brings us to Operation Proposal available on Hulu to watch.  Operation Proposal is the Korean version of Proposal Daisakusen. And I feel, "Been there, done that."  On the other hand, without even watching it, I have to recommend this show to others.  Seriously.  I like the Japanese version, and I have faith in the Koreans doing a great version of it.  So, yeah.  I recommend a show I never watched.  Though if I ever watch it again I'd stick with the J, just cause.

I'm weird.

Running, "Work," Kids, Presents, and Food

Running
I'm on my way to running a ten minute mile.  Not that I can run a mile right now.  I'd probably end up crying.  What I did do is I added another minute to my running time, I am up to 5 minutes (in a row).  And I ran .5 miles in those 5 minutes today.  My lungs hated me afterwards (coughing ensued during walking cool down period).  It happens every time.  I'll be over it eventually.  Before the end of the year? Don't know.  I doubt it though.

"Work"
I'm trying to squeeze in more writing time because of Thanksgiving break.  But Since Wednesday I've been super productive finishing one project (flash) and nearing finishing another (self pub pen name) and maintaining proper progress on my current main project.  I won't be able to work on any of that stuff so I want to finish the smut up ASAP and get some extra words on main project.  If i do get work time, I'll do stuff for edits on a project I'm hoping to be sending out to agents come summer.

Kids
The kids have a 5 day weekend (they get Monday off too).  Over summer I learned the best way to keep them from driving me nuts during long breaks is reading.  I move their book mark and they read to it.  Guess what will be going down at my house?  That and decorating.  The kids love helping me decorate.  Every year they help a little bit more.  This year should reach awesome levels.

Presents
I'm done shopping (for the most part- there's this SNAFU with asked for from Santa and we don't want heartbreak... And stocking stuffers).  Almost everything is wrapped (stuff is in the mail).  Yeah.  I'm that on it.  I want to get my BFF food for xmas that has meaning for us.  I'm giving my hubby's coworker rum cake and another of his coworkers a recipe for pretzel rolls.  Local family, we have yet to sort out.  I'll get that done in two weeks.

Food
I cook a new meal every THurs.  Check my Twitter, G+ or FB for recipes and reports on them.  This thurs I'm off the hook though.  Next Thurs, OMG do I have mega plans!!!!  ANd the Thrus after more mega plans!!!  But I am trying lots of good food and it is awesome!

Japanese Studying News

I forgot to mention!  Earlier this week I completed the first chapter of the book I'm using to teach myself Japanese.  Also, I've finished memorizing (though not without fault) the base Katakana. Today, I am finishing my self test of chapter 1 material (so I can revise that which I fail along with moving forward).  

My studying plans go like this:
I figure I should be done Katakana by the end of this year.  I mean ba and pa are the same has ha just with different annotation next to it.  I can do them as a set in one day.  This means, I'll move onto hiragana in January and I'll be starting the slow process of memorizing once more. And I do mean slow.

As for the book... It took me 2 months to get through chapter 1, so I figure it will take me 2-3 months for chapter 2.  I had done chapter 1 a couple times now and there was little new information for me, so I think I moved through it a tad bit quicker than I would this chapter of all new information.  Also, as I do chapter 2, I'll also be revising chapter 1 stuff so I don't forget it.  That will add some drag as well.

As you can see, slow and very slow.  But I really want to do this.  Wish me luck, okay?

PS- I suck at Kare/Kono, Sore/Sono, and Are/Ano (This one/This, That one/That, and That one over there/That over there).  That was my weakest point in the chapter act6ivities and my self test.  But I am going to work at it!

LJ Neglect

I've been neglecting post and reading LJ.  My bad.  Thing is... It is more than 1 thing.

First is, I'm busy.  I'm trying to achieve writer goals to finish out a bad writing year for me.  The bad writing year is because I quit smoking and everything had to be rebuilt from the ground up.  I'm trying to edit a Middle Grade (MG from here on) chapter book I wrote.  I have to finish writing and editing a story for my pen name (where I self publish smutty stuff for random extra cash) to release this month.  Not to mention the layout of a collection of short stories for my pen name for December.  Then I'm trying to write half a MG (regular) novel.  OH!  And I just finished up dealing with a flash fiction story that I had due.  Busy!

Second is, I was being super negative on here.  I do need a place to whine (here), but it shouldn't all go with cheese.  I want to share the me things I can't as a "brand."  I just haven't had time.  I also want to share when I read stuff.  (Because I don't want to review everything over on my blog - sometimes I just want to say "I read it.")

Thirdly, I open the LJ window maybe once a week.  I open my scanalated manga windows way more than that.  But I have a manga addiction,  We know that much.  (Actually I ended up reading manga while writing this...)  Mostly it is energy levels and business mixed that causes this.  I have no energy to read at night (manga is made of pictures... no county).  And I want to give proper attention to posts.  Not read them halfheartedly.

Finally, I've been somewhat failing at all my social networking.  This is just the major fail one.Why? Because I am not in the mood to talk to other people.  (I kind of force myself to because I don't want to become recluse woman.)  Why don't I want to talk to others?  I'm a smidge depressed.  Nothing bad.  Just, everyday I have to raise my spirits up (I do manage that), I don't wake up in a good mood.  At best I wake up in an even mood.  But I wake up a lot feeling like everything is a drag and "why bother?"

I'm going to try to be better.  

8 of 12

I was/am reading two books at once because I slightly dislike the main book I am reading.  It isn't bad, but it feels badly paced and the start of the character is totally cliche.  So I figured if I read something along side it, to clean my nerve pallet it would work out good.  I decided to do this in early October, so it shouldn't be a surprise that #8 is...


#1- Voices of a Distant Star [Manga]
#2- The Clockwork Three
#3- The Accidental Demon Slayer
#4- Ninja Attack! True Tales of Assassins, Samurai, and Outlaws
#5- Pride and Prejudice and Zombies [Graphic Novel]
#6- Hunger Games
#7- Absolutely, Positively

#8- The Halloween Tree

Since I'm still reading the other book (around 75% done), I picked another book to read along side it.  It is a holiday collection (for obvious reasons) of what seems to be paranormal (romance) or urban fantasy.  Can't wait to start reading it.